The Magic of Parenthood

This year has been transformative, to say the least, but starting tomorrow, I take on new role: working mom. It’s yet another season of rediscovery, where I’ll have to figure out how to show up fully for my baby and for my work, one step at a time. Although there’s a lot to juggle, I’m optimistic about this new rhythm of life. I’ll be coming back into a supportive network of working parents, joining the ones who log onto meetings during daycare drop-offs and respond to messages after their kids go down for the night. The days (and nights) are exhausting, but like every other parent, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

As a parent of little ones, it’s easy to list off the bad — lack of sleep, kids getting sick, tantrums, childcare expenses — but difficult to articulate the good. Unless you know you’ve always wanted kids, it’s hard to be convinced when all you see and hear are complaints and horror stories. But I’m here to discuss the good — the other side of the coin that secretly contains the elusive miracle and magic of parenthood.

The good stuff about parenting is hard to describe, but it’s the best. You create this pure and bright-eyed little being who loves you more than the world. They expand your heart and teach you more about patience, sacrifice, and love more than anything else can. You dedicate time and effort to raising them and they become your most important project in life. You’re proud of everything they achieve, because it’s a reflection of you. Her weight gain and growth is a testament to my success nursing her. Her smiles mean we’re doing something right as parents to create a baby who is thriving and happy. She is a living, breathing representation of Simon’s and my love for each other.

Having kids shifts your goals in a way that their success equates to my success. Teaching her the smallest of things (blowing raspberries, grabbing hands) makes me grateful to see how simple life truly is and how the everyday things are extraordinary in her eyes. Life feels richer and more meaningful in every way. There is always something to look forward to. As I go back to work, I feel a new purpose outside of just making a living. I’m making a life. 

But are you tired?, you ask. To be honest, I’m not. Exhaustion and joy somehow live side by side, and even the hardest days end with moments that melt me. Having a child to protect and raise gives me purpose and adrenaline that powers me through a hard day. However physically tired I might be, I’ll still lug around an infinite amount of weight in bags and baby gear. I’ll sprint home to start her bath and nighttime routine just to make her bedtime. I’ll hold her in my arms for hours, and no matter the fatigue, will always smile at her when she wakes up. My limbs may be worn out but my heart is full. I love this newfound strength I’ve discovered within myself.

I asked Simon (aka Diaper Man) to articulate his thoughts, and he says “She’s just the best. She can poop all over me and I’ll still love her just as much.”

The days are messy but the years are magic. And there are so many years to look forward to.

Happy holidays from our new family of three.

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