Pregnancy Journey

A comprehensive public journal entry of the most physically transformative 9 months of my life so far.

First Trimester

First trimester hits you like a brick. Everything looks fine and dandy on the outside but it’s hard af, exacerbated by how you can’t tell other people yet so you suffer in silence. I hate that. If any of my girl friends are ever in this stage, reach out and I’m more than happy to support, because it was so not fun to get through it in private.

I spent a lot of my first trimester sitting in bed most of the day, soothing myself with movies I loved as a child — it was the only way I could get by. I snacked constantly, on comfort foods that were definitely not the healthiest. I used whatever energy I had left to continue working, pulling myself together for meetings while fighting nausea and headaches. Luckily my schedule was lighter due to the timing of Thanksgiving and Christmas. I didn’t plan a single festive thing for the holidays and instead focused my efforts on scheduling my first doctor’s appointments.

Symptoms, milestones, and observations by week:

• Week 4

  • Took a work trip where I stayed out late every night, ate charcuterie, drank with coworkers, hurt my back and took painkillers, and missed my period

  • Then came home, peed on a stick, and saw two lines… Simon and I were in disbelief

• Weeks 5-7

  • Food flavors smelled and tasted more dramatic, and I developed aversions to meat and candy

  • Light persistent nausea at random times of a day. Even looking at photos of food made me nauseous. It was so bad I started associated my last trip (to China) with nausea

  • Extreme fatigue at random times, even mornings. Tired and felt overworked even though I’m not doing anything. On workdays stared at my calendar, unable to imagine having to get through the day

  • Started pre-natal vitamins

  • Dramatic levels of hunger and fullness. Extremely hungry before meals. But I also couldn’t eat that much at a time.

  • Bloating, headaches, a constant need to pee

  • Spent my 30th birthday barely holding it together

• Weeks 8-9

  • Sat in bed all day, felt like I couldn’t do anything

  • Jeans are tight and I want to unbutton all the time

  • Had to find all my loose cardigans to hide my bloated belly

  • Went to the OB/GYN for the first time and on the ultrasound, saw a little baby! It was overwhelming but it was real. Still too shocked to process the existence of another heartbeat inside me.

• Weeks 10-11

  • Huge appetite and want to eat all the time. Still craving guilty pleasure foods, but luckily not sweets

  • The nausea went away! (As my placenta took over, I assume)

  • Barely even feel pregnant, just bloated and heavy. No bump, just fluctuating between different states of bloat all day.

  • Back to sitting (and even standing) at my usual desk, back to eating salads, hooray!

  • Got my energy back, can put in long sessions at the gym again, but careful about pushing myself too hard. Intentional about staying hydrated

  • Still can’t sleep through the night due to constant trips to the bathroom

  • The pungent smell of hCG, that’s all I’ll say

  • Feel like I’m just waiting and worrying about where things can go wrong this early on

• Weeks 12-13

  • I hit 12 weeks on Christmas day and we told our families! I’d been anticipating this day for so long and the moment lived up to my expectations :)

  • Less hunger but more bloating. Like you just got back from an AYCE hotpot and can’t breathe because you’re so full. Slight heartburn.

  • Still not used to my body changing everyday: organs moving around, limbs getting numb quickly if I’m in one spot for too long

  • I naturally have hypermobility so the relaxin hormone is getting to me pretty early on in pregnancy. I went to a PT and found out my butt nerve pain was sciatica. My long-time shoulder impingement started acting up again too. I had to be careful not to overstretch or overdo it during workouts

  • Bought a thin belly band to wear jeans for the first time in months (unbuttoned but hidden)

  • Finally upgraded my health insurance and switched to another doctor, who reassured that everything is fine and growing well after locating the baby right away with the ultrasound wand. “We’re having a little baby!” I kept repeating to Simon, finally letting the news sink in.

  • I had early anxiety about giving birth, but the doctor reassured me that our bodies are literally made to do this. I never thought about it that way.

9 weeks. The day after my first OB/GYN appointment and ultrasound

14 weeks

Reflections

After spending the last few years building the strongest body I’ve ever had, a part of me is crushed to be losing control of it. Before pregnancy I had finally learned how to eat healthy, optimize my energy levels, and get my body to carry me through long draining days without losing a beat. I could go to the gym for 4 hours a day, climb mountains, run through mud. I could do 20-hour fasts and feel great. I always slept through the night.

Now I’m scared to eat raw vegetables, and my nausea is giving me food aversions of leafy greens (it tastes metallic). As someone who intermittently fasted and ate a low-carb, nutrient-dense boring salad everyday, now all I crave are garbage carbs. I eat and snack all the time — it’s one of the fews things that make me feel better when I’m nauseous or feel blegh. I’m worried about not providing enough or the best nutrients for the baby in this vital first trimester.

I’m scared to be losing my body. I feel like an alien has taken over. It’s giving me aches, fatigue, bloating, gas… to the point where I just feel like an animal. And I know by the end of this, I’m never going to have the same body back. That makes me sad.

I’m also afraid to push my body. I can’t climb as high with a growing fear of falling. I pretty much just lie in bed anytime I’m home. I’m afraid of getting cold and getting sick. I can’t zip up my jeans. I feel fat and tired and bloated and gross all the time. I literally took a nap in the middle of the day at work this week. It’s a downward spiral of poorer eating habits, being cold in this weather, seasonal depression, and the breaking of my usual gym routine amongst holidays, appointments, and feeling lethargic. I dread going to the gym because I know I’m not gonna get stronger and fitter.

It feels like being seasick 24/7, and I feel like I’m being dramatic because nobody knows. I feel useless, guilty about not working as hard, terrified of being perceived as a lazy wife, lazy roommate, lazy employee. I’m suffering in silence, seriously wondering how people choose to have multiple kids and get pregnant multiple times. It feels far from magical…

I just completed 9 weeks and happy to report things are already getting better. Nausea is the worst part, and hopefully things improve. I’m excited, but the reality is — it’s been a long ass month. And there’s still 7 more to go. Nesting, resting, and telling myself that things will get better once:

1. The morning sickness goes away. Apparently this trimester is the hardest

2. The chance of miscarriage dramatically drops (by second trimester), and I know I’m not suffering all for nothing

3. I tell my family and friends, and the excitement overrides the pains of pregnancy

4. I get that pregnancy “glow”, whatever that is

5. I don’t need to hide it anymore by pretending I can still climb at the same level as before at the gym. I don’t need to hide my newfound chubbiness anymore

6. The winter turns into spring and then summer!

7. It’ll be warm enough to eat cold foods again (salad!)

8. I see my new doctor and get comfortable with where delivery will be happening

9. I get to second trimester aka the honeymoon period! Increased energy, better sleep

10. I realize I should be grateful that I am able to be pregnant

Books I read

• Expecting Better by Emily Oster, a widely recommended book for pregnancy facts and myths debunked with data that reassured me in my first anxiety-filled month of known pregnancy.

Our babymoon in Spain at 24 weeks.

Second Trimester

If first trimester was me worried about the health of my pregnancy and the changes in my body, this trimester had me thinking about parenting instead. How will I raise a newborn, infant, toddler and instill her with patience and restraint but also joy and freedom? Is there anything I can learn from non-American methods of parenting? What kind of values do I want to teach from my Chinese upbringing, and what kinds of American ideals do I want to adopt instead?

This extra-long trimester was also the time we announced the news to friends and family. After surprising our parents over Christmas, we then told everyone else around Chinese New Year (with fake lottery scratchers stuffed into red envelopes). I also came up with an idea for a “bun in the oven” video announcement we sent to friends who live farther away. Watch here.

• Weeks 14-16

  • Lo and behold, my first trimester symptoms all melted away, especially the cravings and nausea. I don’t feel pregnant, even though there is the slightest bulge in my lower belly. I’m sleeping much better.

  • Stopped climbing and doing intense workouts :(

  • Sciatica flared up in my left glute, but yoga stretches ease away the pain. Relaxin flared up my old shoulder impingement, so back to PT band stretches. I go into proactive prevention mode with daily stretching

  • First baby purchase: baby books!

  • Reading parenting books is my newest obsession

  • Starting to go through baby names, and found a few we really like

  • Found out the gender via NIPT. And she became a lot more real.

  • Itchiness across the surface of my body, but probably because of the dry winter weather

  • Bowel movements were bad even though I was eating my usual amount of fiber. But prunes help.

  • Week 16 ultrasound: We saw baby girl hanging out upside down sucking her thumb! What a cutie.

• Weeks 17-20

  • Belly is starting to show, but it’s not a full-on belly, so I’m getting paranoid about looking fat. But I’ve also given up on sucking in — it’s not happening anymore. But seriously running out of pants options in this cold weather

  • Had to eat intentionally to relieve constipation and hemorroids (not always successful), but it eventually went away. Whew.

  • Started calling her “little baby”

  • Experienced single-digit temps in NYC and it was fine

  • Told all our friends and extended family over Lunar New Year! Some family members guessed it before the secret was out.

  • After telling everyone the news, I got comfortable with actually looking pregnant. Learned to be kinder to myself, but maybe because the weather is finally warming up and I have different clothes to reach for.

  • Started to find mom friends and build a community

  • Once I hit week 20, my uterus felt like a bowling ball inside me. Going from sitting to standing would feel awkward.

  • Found my modified gym groove: cycle classes, weights/barre classes with modifications on ab work, and stretching/PT at home. Feeling really lucky to be taught by highly-qualified instructors.

  • Week 20 fetal anatomy ultrasound: We saw little baby on the fancy ultrasound machine! The radiologist prodded all over my belly and said she was jumping, jumping, jumping, struggling to capture a nice photo of her spine and head until the end. I had to walk around the hallways twice to get her moving into the right position. We saw her blowing little bubbles out her nose, as well as her healthy 4-chamber heart and little toes! Her head measurement is a tad larger than expected — I blame her dad.

  • Due to the prodding during the 20-week ultrasound, I felt her kick right as I want to go to sleep the next couple of days. It has since reduced to fluttering, which is very sweet. I feel like I have a secret connection to her.

  • We revealed the gender to our family and friends at Simon’s birthday party, and it was our first time truly celebrating with everyone. Feeling very lucky to have so much support.

• Weeks 21-26

  • Started to gather hand-me-down baby things and spur-of-the-moment gifts from neighbors and friends excited to have a baby in their lives

  • A lot of waiting, eating healthy, weighing myself every few days, trying to stay active, forcing myself to walk more, continuing my appointments

  • Babymoon to Europe followed by a roadtrip to LA. The last Simon & Sophia DINK adventure! I was worried about planning a heavy walking trip but I walked just fine. There was a bit of insomnia but may have been from jetlag or itchiness or general anxiety about sleeping on my back.

  • My skin got really irritated and rashes started forming… it turned out to be eczema! The doctor prescribed topical anti-itch treatments and it went away quickly. Finally.

  • I’m not operating at 100% stability in all my movements. But that’s okay. I always joke with Simon there’s a tuned mass damper inside me, Taipei 101-style.

  • General gassiness and bloat

18 weeks. Still mostly bloating at this point.

20 weeks. After the exciting anatomy scan!

24 weeks

Reflections

As much as I can’t wait to become a parent, I still don’t love being pregnant as much as some other women do. After all the centuries of feminist progress we’ve made as a society, I feel like my identity is reduced back into its primal biological state, just here to procreate and produce milk (like a mama cow). As someone who likes to bounce to my feet at moment’s notice or occasionally work from bed, it’s become harder to sit up out of bed, flip around, and readjust with a belly looming in front of me. I tell myself I’m carrying around a little hot tub inside of me, with the tiniest little spa guest enjoying all the luxury of chilling at the perfect temperature, and food delivered straight to her door.

It’s a lot of waiting… waiting for my belly to show, waiting for her to grow every week, waiting for warmer weather, and waiting to leave work. I stand in front of my closet in the mornings, lamenting that fact I can’t fit into most of the wardrobe I’ve lovingly curated over the years. I miss feeling lighter, more nimble, and I’m struggling with body image as my belly grows and I try to hide it in front of people we’re supposed to “surprise.” Some people are commenting on my weight gain as a clue to having figured out “the news,” but that just makes me feel bad about my body instead.

I’ve started getting really bored during the second trimester. Some of my favorite hobbies, like shopping and planning travels, aren’t worth doing at the moment, and others are straight up off limits, like climbing. The gym isn’t fun anymore, because it was the thrill of pushing myself and seeing results that motivated me. Now I’m just doing light stretching? I can tell I’m losing muscle tone in my arms, which resurfaced an old insecurity. I’m learning to be kinder, but it’s hard, especially when I’m still editing my wedding video and admiring the body I’ve since lost. Not only do my pants no longer fit (expected), my dresses don’t fit at the chest because my ribcage expanded (wtf?). Losing control over my own physical self is hard to come to terms with.

But I should be grateful regardless. Grateful that this trimester has been uneventful, and that I can still exercise and do 99% of the things I want to do. The fact that I weigh almost 20 pounds more but I can still squat and side plank the same way I used to? Incredible. The fact that this placenta of mine can feed this little fetus, protect her, and remove her waste? Unimaginable. I thought I’d developed my toughest muscles lifting weights, but I’d yet to discover my strongest muscle yet: the uterus.

About the halfway point is also when I started feeling flutters and baby kicks. Suddenly she got a lot more real and I enjoyed feeling her move. We talked to her every night and I responded to her movements. I started referring to her as “little baby” and Simon and I started talking about our future as a family. What will be her first solid food? What will our family traditions entail? Where will we find childcare? How do we raise her to be bilingual?

I’m at the end of the second trimester and wow a lot has happened. I started the year hiding my belly in big sweaters and hacking the wearability of skinny jeans waistlines with a hairtie. Now I’ve ballooned so much that when I walked around our car, it registered me as an obstruction and beeped. I’m not looking forward to feeling like a beached whale all the time, but know that all of this is necessary for little baby to grow into a healthy newborn. It’ll all be worth it.

Trust

It’s been a journey learning to trust my body to protect the baby even my brain is unsure. I’ve had to recognize that my body knows to initiate bowel movements immediately after eating something that may not have sat right. I needed to trust that falling asleep on my back will be okay. That I’ll be able to handle these 40 weeks even though I haven’t read all the books and internet articles. That I’ll be able to get through labor and delivery, because my body was literally made to do this. (Giving birth is just one day in this entire journey; it’ll be fine.) I need to trust that I can get my pre-pregnancy body back afterwards. Through this journey, the awe that I have for my body only strengthened. The resentment has evolved into amazement at an experience that is too surreal to control. I just had to trust.

Joining the womanhood

Part of me is excited to join the billions of mothers that have procreated the human race. There’s something about going through this unique journey that bonds us, and connects us at a shared biological level. When mothers found out about my pregnancy, they’d tell me their labor stories, their cravings, their hardest struggles and greatest joys. They open up and share vulnerabilities that are usually kept hidden inside, because they know I’ll be able to understand, if not now, then later. I feel as if I’ve unlocked a special bond with all these wise souls, who have been around all along, but are never allowed to talk about their “mom” problems in a male-dominated, youth-centric world that gets queasy about any detail of childbirth. These childless people just don’t get it.

On parenting

I read a ton of books and heard a lot of advice on parenting this trimester. I had in-depth conversations with my parents about the way they raised me, and reflected on my multi-cultural upbringing. Coworkers started sending me their baby registries for inspiration, and I was stunned about the amount of stuff I was “supposed” to get and how much all of it costed. I researched childcare, daycare, and private schools, and got even more overwhelmed evaluating our finances in an area like ours with a ridiculous high cost of living. I got worried thinking about how we wouldn’t be able to provide for our child(ren) the way my double tech income coworkers do.

“You want three kids? Can you afford raising three?”

— My mom asks

“No matter how much money you have, they’ll nevertheless grow up.”

— My dad, in response

As I get carried away evaluating Montessori schools and UPPAbaby strollers, that’s the perspective I want to remember going into this. Kids don’t need expensive things to have a good childhood. They don’t need the most prestigious schools to be raised right. Love, trust, respect, and community are free. I’m fine raising my kids middle class, and not having to compare what they have to the families around us. Last year during wedding planning, I realized how much capitalism preyed on brides, but now it’s clear how much worse it is for new parents. At work, all my conversations with parents-to-be revolve around baby gadgets and high-tech cribs, but it all just feels strange to me. Do I really need to impress my baby with the best things? Like I mentioned, the best thing my parents could have given me was a humble beginning. And there’s nothing I want more for my own kids.

Books I read

• Bringing Up Bébé by Pamela Druckerman, for parenting advice from one American woman’s observations living in France. Although anecdotal, the book validated my disapproval about aspects of American parenting and reassured me that my children can be raised differently and as a result, be better behaved.

• How to Raise Successful People by Esther Wojcicki, an all-around guide for raising independent kids you can trust from the “Godmother of Silicon Valley.” Although luck played a role in the success of her kids’ lives, her chapters around respect and independence were extremely thought-provoking. I couldn’t help but stop every few pages to take notes and reflect.

• The Montessori Baby by Simone Davies and Junnifa Uzodike, a primer for the popular Montessori method. I read this book during our babymoon in Europe, and it’s a comprehensive guide on all aspects of baby-bringing in the Montessori style, from activities to languages, movement and physical care. Although it can sound too good to be true at times, I’m curious to try out the gentle parenting technique and trust that my baby will know how to communicate and become independent at a very young age. This book also assured me how few physical things I actually need to raise a kid and made me feel okay about not researching the best cribs or setting up the perfect nursery.

Still lifting my usual weights at 33 weeks.

Third Trimester

It won’t be quite over yet by the publication of this post, but this trimester has gone by fast as I wrapped up work, took health education classes, toured the labor ward, and got more confident about the impending birth and postpartum stage. I finally settled into the big belly look and found beauty in my body and comfort in the perception of the public. Yeah that’s right, hold that door open for me, punk.

I’ve been spending time reading old blog posts where I wrote about my life, and looking at pictures of me from a year ago, unable to believe how I’ll become a completely different person soon. It’s not so much lamenting, but feeling nostalgia because damn, change is scary.

• Weeks 27-29

  • Suddenly I look pregnant pregnant, especially during the later half of the day

  • But I’m still feeling good! Even beautiful! Instead of feeling big, I revel at the fact that I’m 6 months pregnant and still able to carry on like everyone else. For the first time in my self-aware life, my body looks how it’s supposed to look. Sometimes I just stand naked in front of the mirror in awe of the female form.

  • The nurse tells me to start tracking kicks but I don’t like the anxiety it creates so I don’t do it. I feel baby move throughout the day just fine. Slowly those kicks and jabs transform into squirming and rolling and dancing, I’d imagine. Feeling very lucky that I get to know her before the world does.

  • She is getting heavy though, and more active when I’m trying to move in awkward positions like hip bridges. So in turn I have to move slower, which I need to get used to

  • I do really miss being athletic. I miss having a body that functioned efficiently and had boundless energy. A body that allowed me to move in powerful ways and get through my day with vigor.

  • We debated having a baby shower, but realized we don’t need to have one

  • Collecting more hand-me-down baby stuff from friends/family that help us cross stuff off the registry

  • I have the urge to pee every 10 minutes

• Weeks 30-32

  • My skin itch condition came back, but anti-histamines and steroid cream help

  • I hit week 31 and suddenly I can’t walk faster than 2 mph. Lots of round ligament pain at the pelvis, especially in the latter half of the day, and after sitting for too long. When I work from the office, the constant dull discomfort from lugging around a little hot tub inside my uterus makes me feel like a zombie

  • The fatigue is real, even when I haven’t done anything all day. However, a physically active day is actually easier on the body than one spent sitting. Somehow I can be on my feet for hours and feel fine, but if I sit for an hour-long work meeting, the standing back up is seriously uncomfortable in the pelvic region.

  • The insomnia is back on occasional nights when I’m fully awake at 3am for no reason. I also developed calf cramps that put stretching into my daily routine

  • I start working on pelvic floor exercises under the instruction of my PT

  • Sometimes I get anxious when baby isn’t kicking enough in the evenings (even though everything is fine!) Other times this silly little baby slides around the amniotic sac which I flip in bed from side to side. My body is a play structure now, I guess.

  • Still lifting 10-lb weights though 💪

  • Started getting stretch marks, but I don’t care

  • We took a childbirth class, and learned that pain is a natural part of the birthing process. It’s easy to choose medication, but I’m curious how much I can physically withstand when the time comes. I want to test the strength of my mind-body connection

  • We also toured the labor and delivery ward of the hospital I’ll give birth at! It’s all so real!

  • Had a hormonal moment where I cried twice in a day from things I can usually emotionally manage

  • We had a little nesting party! Our sisters and friends came to help us get lingering house and baby chores done, like weeding the yard and figuring out how to fold the strollers. Yay friends :)

• Weeks 33-35

  • Took our last trip to celebrate Simon and my 10-year anniversary! A staycation roadtrip to nearby Carmel and Santa Cruz. Felt just fine casually hiking (at a slower pace) through hilly forest roads.

  • The fatigue really sets in the latter half of the day, so I’m glad I only have 3 more weeks of work left. I noticed that if I don’t get 9 hours of sleep I’m extremely groggy and can’t bring myself to do anything. Which is unfortunate because there are countless personal projects I want to wrap up before baby’s arrival, and I’m just too tired to do them.

  • Going to the office is getting tough now that I get winded carrying my laptop bag, constantly walk around campus looking for meeting rooms, and have to squeeze into uncomfortable seatbelts on the shuttle bus

  • Sometimes I can’t be comfortable unless I’m laying down. But when I’m horizontal, the weight of the uterus is uncomfortable. So I have no choice but to sit upright even though I’m exhausted. Started dreading bedtime because I know I won’t sleep well.

  • But generally, not much pain or complications. Still feeling pretty good most days, especially when I’m well-rested and moving a lot. Which is the best-case scenario.

  • Had a fabulous maternity shoot at the beach where I felt really good surrounded by nature and the sun

  • Pubic symphysis pain set in around week 35. Flipping over in bed causes discomfort, as well as activities that require single leg movement.

  • The fear of labor and delivery is setting in, but I read advice that advised me to stop researching so much, especially bad experiences and emergency scenarios that likely won’t happen, because it’ll just cause more anxiety. Nurses know what they’re doing so I don’t have to.

  • Sometimes baby is so active at night my entire belly is doing the wave. Really cool to watch happen but impossible to capture on camera

28 weeks

32 weeks

36 weeks

Reflections

I’m thinking about the kind of person I’ll become postpartum. Even though my lifestyle and priorities will change, I still want to have my own unique identity outside of parenthood. I don’t want to talk about baby stuff all the time. I know motherhood is busy but I also don’t want to abandon and lose my childless friends. How will these relationships evolve?

I’ve started finding community in other parents of younger children. They are so kind! People are happy to give away used things and share advice because we’re all in this together. It’s so easy to bond over parenthood and find commonalities. I’ve unlocked a new world of topics to discuss with newfound parent friends.

Getting influenced

Over these past 9 months I’ve spent a lot of late nights and early mornings Googling things, researching things, reading all kinds of material from a variety of sources. The Instagram algorithm got wind of my pregnancy early and started targeting me hard with relevant Reels from influencers. The good: watching them express vulnerability or make fun of shared pregnancy situations makes me feel less lonely. The bad: people who insist on giving advice based on their personal experiences. Same goes for Reddit and any other social internet sites you might find yourself on. While I certainly value the positives of the virtual community, I do have to stop myself when I find myself comparing my situation to others, following bogus “wellness” tips, and getting overly-influenced.

While blogs aren’t written by medical professionals, websites like Baby Center, What to Expect, and Babylist have really great comprehensive and trustworthy resources on pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, and postpartum topics. Babylist, especially, has been a great source of information, with a email list that links you to relevant articles on a weekly basis in a way that is informative and timely.

Fitness

Fitness is one of my biggest passions, and from the start, I was not about to give it up just because my belly was growing. I’m not injured, I’m just pregnant was a good mantra as continued going to the gym as much as I could. Since the end of my anxiety-ridden first trimester, I’ve modified my workouts to work for my needs, giving up crunch-heavy pilates classes for strength-oriented barre classes, and going easier on myself with weight selection, speed of reps, and intensity of cardio. I’m lucky to have developed good stability over the years, so I continued balance-related exercises like yoga, with caution. It was a disruptive change at first, but over the months I’ve built up a confidence in listening to my body and felt much calmer about my workout choices over time. The most important thing was that I still want to challenge myself, weight train, and practice the things I love to do, but do it in a safe manner.

One of my biggest fears at the start of pregnancy was being underestimated or stereotyped based on a temporary “disability.” Labeled as having pregnancy brain, expected to not be able to perform my job at 100%, or treated as fragile when people carry things for me. (I hate when people, especially men, assume physical tasks for me without asking.) This is why I’ve continued going to the gym to defy those misconceptions and model to other girls that you don’t have to retreat to bedrest just because you’re growing a baby. I can still lift those weights, hold arm balances in yoga, and set personal records on spin bikes along with the rest of the able-bodied class, and do so with a smile on my face. Don’t underestimate a woman’s power.

Books I read

• Prepared Childbirth: The Family Way by Debby Amis and Jeanne Green, a companion guide (written in the 80s) I got from my hospital’s childbirth prep class. It’s very textbook-y and full of diagrams/tables, including actionable advice and recommendations for both mom and partner during pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum.

• Dear Girls by Ali Wong, for something different (and crude) that will get my mind off the anxiety of giving birth. I love her reflections on how motherhood changed her relationship with her own mom, breaking gender roles as a breadwinning wife, and her anecdotes that demonstrate how Bringing Up Bébé is a book of lies. Haha.

As I wrap up this blog post at 36 weeks and celebrate my wedding anniversary with Simon this weekend, we mentally prepare to close the final chapter of “just us two” as we wait for our family to grow. Any day now, life will change forever…

We can’t wait to meet you, little one!

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