Life on Autopilot
Breezing through my favorite corner of the world.
I think back to 2020 a lot.
Even though the world was on the verge of collapse, I was surprisingly happy in my everyday life. There were no events to plan, people to arrange to see, or things to get done. No one expected much from you. The stress of life and accomplishment was lifted off my shoulders for a blissful few months. I realized what it felt like to pause, kept a daily diary, played, and learned to make new things. Did any of these things help me get closer to my goals? No. But never in life had I felt that relieved.
Somehow, as 2021 rolled around and 2022 set in, I was back in accomplishment mode. I planned trips, meetups with friends, and signed up for activities and commitments that would reconnect me back with the outside world. I bought a house, got a new job, resumed pre-pandemic life (to an extent), and… I’m exhausted.
I find myself slipping back into that hustle. I’ve been going through life on autopilot, just getting through the days. The whiplash of constant change, everything trying to fight for my attention, and the stress of a 9-5 job that revolves around planning ahead. Work is all about setting goals, reviewing your calendar, creating milestones, preparing agendas for meetings. It forces you to focus on what’s ahead. But life shouldn’t be that way.
I want to live life with intention rather than planning the next thing. When there is something to enjoy (a trip, a weekend, or even a lunch break) I want to soak in every moment without worrying and getting overwhelmed by what’s next. Maybe it’s just rosy retrospection, but I want to live like it’s 2020 again, where I had time to breathe. I had time be present, and enjoy the mundane, and reflect. The quietness and serenity of being home alone was beyond rejuvenating.
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Writing helps. Reflecting on my travels and adventures helps me remember them, relive them, cherish them. Daily journaling helps me reflect on my day and practice gratitude for what I have and what I’m excited about. Writing on this blog helps me capture my thoughts and worries, and turn them into stories to tell (to my worried future self.)
I also want to remind myself to focus on quality over quantity. This concept applies to people, work, and how you apply your energy. It’s not about how much you do, but how you do it. How do you choose to spend time with people? How you pick what to dedicate your efforts toward? These days, there is so much going on. It’s all about numbers, followers, and speed. How much of what you do actually matters to you? “You want hearts, not eyeballs” as Austin Kleon says.
I want to do more of the things I want to do, and less of the things I have to do. A mini mid-year resolutions list:
More play, less work. Block out my hours. Do not work outside those hours.
More intentional eating, less working while eating.
More books and TV (high quality content), less attention sucking phone apps (low quality content).
More yoga and moments of quiet.
Less planning, more doing.
